Gradually
by DragonDweller
Summary: Chapter five is up! Even though it was Yami’s heart that was shattered to pieces, it was I who caused it. It's not the same, he’s not the same...and it’s because of me...
1. You Seem Different Today, Dark Side

**Gradually**

**Chapter One: You Seem Different Today, Dark Side**

Things happen gradually. Like rain building up in a cloud, waiting patiently to plummet down to earth. Like the yellowed grass in wintertime, getting a little greener day by day, and then later in summer it's green again. The growth of a human, starting out as a tiny infant and some years later it would be a fully developed adult. Things take time… Things take hours, weeks, and years.

I think that life contradicts itself sometimes, though. There are times when occurrences seem to happen right before your eyes… Things you've been waiting for your whole life coming and going in the same instant. And yet, time also seems to stop as it happens…

So how does that work?

"Aibou…"

I looked up from the table and saw that the other me had asked a question. He was practically a reflection of myself. The same dark, violet eyes, tri-colored hair… Now if only I could grow a couple more inches, we'd be twins!

Trying not to blush in embarrassment, I quickly replied, "Y-yeah?"

I had almost forgotten. The other me and I were in the kitchen. I was sitting at the table while the kind spirit had been making dinner for me (I had finally taught him the basics). The doughy, potato smell of pancakes filled the house, the aroma wrapping itself around my nose, enchanting my senses. I hadn't realized any of this until now… Lost in my thoughts. I grinned sheepishly to myself and waited for the other me to repeat his question.

"Do you want any sour cream?" My darker side walked over to the table and slid a plate full of delicious looking potato pancakes in front of me.

With a nod, I answered right away. "Aa. Onegai!"

The other me grinned slightly at me and then turned to open the refrigerator. There was always something about his smile… I'm not exactly sure what it was, but whenever he did it, it made me feel as though every inch of me was warm inside. It made me feel like I was home, even though I was already there. I know that sounds kind of stupid… I don't know…

But…his smile isn't the same anymore. Not like it used to be…

Yami took a white bottle out of the fridge and put it on the table, then taking a seat himself across from me with his own plate of pancakes. I reached for the white bottle of sour cream, but stopped in mid-grab.

"Oh, um…" I blinked. Yami and I nodded in unison. "Itadakimasu," we said quietly, and then this time I grabbed the sour cream bottle, opened it, and squirted a blotch of it on the edge of my plate.

I looked over at the empty seat next to Yami. Ji-chan wasn't eating with us that night. The shop had suddenly become extra busy lately and he had decided to extend the hours of it. I offered to help him out with the rushes of people (it got pretty crazy in there), but he insisted that I focus on things more important. I think that things related to my own grandpa are pretty important, but I also think that once Ji-chan makes up his mind, it's all said and done and you can't do anything about it. So I had listened and went to do my homework. I think that's what he meant by "important."

Things between the other me and I have been so weird for the longest time… It's painful for me to remember what happened about a…a year ago, now… I almost want to turn back time and change what I said- what I didn't say- just to make him happy. Just to be able to see the way he used to smile at me. That warmhearted, golden smile… I miss it so much, now. It feels like one hundred knives are stabbing at my heart as punishment for my actions on that cold, depressing night…

"_Aibou…do you understand?" A tall figure stood next to a slightly shorter one in the dark, only their two silhouettes visible._

"_Wh-what are you saying?" the shorter one stuttered unexpectedly._

"_Aibou…I love you… I…really…do…"_

"_Mou hitori no boku…I…" The shorter's eyes widened with surprise._

_The taller silhouette put a finger to the smaller's lips and blinked. His eyes suddenly saddened and a frown was on his face. "It's alright, Hikari… I…I know what you're going to say…" His voice faltered._

"_Nnn…"_

_There was a moment of silence before the tall silhouette was able to speak properly again. Finally, he murmured quietly, "Hush…" With that, the taller figure pulled the shorter to himself and seized him into a tight yet somehow soft embrace. He ran his hand through the shorter's hair gently, fondly, taking in his sweet aroma… _

_The shorter felt a warm liquid drop onto his face… Was…was the taller… crying? Now the shorter couldn't help but feel awful at what he had done- what he hadn't done… He felt as though he had made a mistake, even though such was not true…_

_The shorter whimpered quietly as more tears dropped onto him silently, and he muttered out, his voice muffled as his face was pressed against the other's body, "I'm sorry, Yami… I'm sorry… Please forgive me…" The young teen now found his own tears sliding down his already moist face, his body warm with regret and pain… He stuttered out, "I love you too…b-but…I don't-"_

"_Hush, Hikari," Yami interrupted. " It's alright… Don't say anything…" He rubbed his aibou's back comfortingly._

_The two stood in the darkness alone, their sobs fading into the night…_

… Where was "gradually" in what had burst out of my darker half's mouth that night? Where was "gradually" at that time?… Nothing seems to make much sense anymore. It's like…there life goes again, contradicting itself, just like always.

I bit my lip, trying to hold back tears. Ever since that night, things have been so different between us. Our bond isn't as strong as it used to be, and it has a different feeling to it… Everything is different. We're still good friends, but it's just not the same… The two of us haven't completely moved on from that night…especially me. Because, even though it was Yami's heart that was shattered to pieces, it was I who caused it.

But…I couldn't have lied to him. Sometimes part of me thinks I should have, but then the other part of me tells me that I did the right thing… Returning the same form of "I love you" to Yami would have made him happy for the time being, but sooner or later, he would have found out the hard truth… So I really had done the right thing, but…I can't help but feel sad about breaking his heart. There's a scar inside of me that, I think, will never completely heal… And for Yami, too…

"Aibou, is there something wrong?" Yami paused from eating, setting down his fork, a puzzled expression worn on his face.

"Huh?… N-no, everything's fine," I reassured him, taking a bite of the pancakes.

"Oh… Are you sure?"

I hate lying. "Positive," I beamed, trying not to wince at the fib.

Suddenly, just as Yami was about to take a bite of potato pancakes himself, the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Raising an eyebrow, it was my turn to set down a fork.

"I'll get it," I said, getting out of my chair and hurrying to the door. Then I opened it, and I wasn't surprised to see who it was…

"Oh! Kaiba-kun!" I said. "What brings you here?"

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes at me. Okay, I admit, that was kind of a dumb question. Kaiba-kun and Yami had been going out for months, now. I should've known. But, it _was _dinnertime… I shrugged, despite this last thought and welcomed him in. "We're kind of in the middle of dinner, though…" The two of us walked into the kitchen together.

Immediately, my darker half's eyes lit up like a pair of fireflies as Kaiba-kun entered the room. I giggled quietly. He was completely head-over-heals. Well, they both were. Kaiba-kun was just awkward. Anyway, Yami got up from his chair and stood in front of the blue-eyed, taller boy. They grabbed each other's hands affectionately and lightly swung them back and forth. Kaiba-kun managed to half smile shyly, while Yami grinned broadly.

Sometimes I wonder if Yami still has those feelings for me. The feelings that he has for Kaiba-kun, now. We don't really talk about what happened, because it pains us both. So I'm not really sure about it. I wonder if those feelings for me are still inside of my darker half somehow, or if they've just gradually worn away? I really wonder… Somehow, I wish I felt the feelings that Yami felt…or maybe still feels…for me. I want to love, too. Love like Yami feels.

But…it's just because I want to make him happy again… Even now, with Kaiba-kun, he's just not the same. The love he showed for me the time I destroyed his heart is…different from this love for Kaiba-kun… It's not the same… _He's _not the same… And it's because of me.

"I wasn't expecting you, Seto," Yami whispered to his boyfriend secretively.

"Oh…" Kaiba found himself at a loss for words. He stared at the ground.

"Why don't you join us?" Yami pointed at the table. Kaiba-kun nodded at his gesture and took the seat next to my dark half where Ji-chan normally sat. Afterwards, the other me and I sat down too and continued to eat.

"Do you want anything?" I asked my classmate politely.

"No," he answered bluntly and coldly, as though I had asked him to do something dumb. I shrugged and took another bite of my potato pancake.

Kaiba-kun spent the night at our house. I couldn't sleep.Him and my darker half were making too much noise in the next room.

I wish I had someone to love like Yami does... I really do...

I feel... a little insecure. A little lost...

...and alittle lonely.

A/N: Did you like it? Did you hate it? Opinions are always appreciated. Thanks a bunch. Stay tuned for chapter two:)

**Key**

Onegai- Please.

Itadakimasu- Something the Japanese say before they eat. It means something along the lines of "thanks for the food."


	2. You Wouldn't Lie to Me, Would You?

A/N: A thank you to all who reviewed! Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Dances around Here's chapter two!

Oh yeah. Hehe. I almost forgot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou and I don't own the characters (except maybe Yugi o.o j/k haha). They all belong to Takahashi Kazuki. Yay!

**Chapter Two: You Wouldn't Lie to Me, Would You?**

Gradually the sun rose. Fortunately. For some reason I felt like it was going to stay nighttime forever, and I would have to feel lonely forever and talk to no one forever. I knew it wasn't going to be forever, an eternity…probably. I just couldn't help but think about it in the back of my mind. What if the sun never rose and it stayed night? And the sun never rose again, the moon reigning over the earth endlessly. _Then _what would happen?

'_Well',_ I thought to myself as I hastily pulled on my school uniform in the early morning, '_life would go on.'_ I stopped for a moment as I buttoned up my shirt while looking in the mirror.

Or would it? I sighed, adding a couple accessories to my outfit and neatened my hair up just a little.

Though the sun certainly was up and greeting the new day, it still felt like night to me… It was so quiet. '_I wonder if Yami is still sleeping. And if Kaiba-kun is still here_. _Hm.'_ I opened my door and tiptoed out gingerly, making sure every step was done softly and carefully. I stood in front of the next room. Putting my ear to the door, I made sure to be quiet as a mouse just in case my darker half was awake. I listened intently for any indication of noise or stirring.

…Nothing. _'I wonder…'_ I knew I was out of my mind, but I wanted to see if the other me was awake. Oh, I really hoped I wouldn't disturb him… Like ripping a band-aid off quickly to get the sharp, quick pain over with, I shut my eyes tightly and jerked the door open in a flash, biting my lip with doubt.

Again…nothing. Was it safe to open my eyes again? I didn't hear anything, but what if Kaiba-kun and Yami were staring at me with shocked and twisted expressions? What if one of them yelled at me? Or worse, what if they _both _yelled at me? Would Yami be angry with me?… Why was I even doing this? It didn't make any sense… Having the strong urge to explore the actions of my counterpart… It was kind of like eavesdropping, kind of like spying… Suddenly I was overwhelmed with a confusing mixture of doubt and fear both at once. But I couldn't move. So I just stood there in the doorway. And then-

"Yugi?… What is it, Aibou?"

My eyes shot open automatically at the mention of my name. I could recognize that voice anywhere. "Y-Yami!" I chortled nervously, scratching my head a little. The ex-pharaoh lay in bed, propped up against his pillow, which was resting on the bed's headboard. Thin sheets covered his slender figure up to the bottom of his bellybutton. His bare chest was modesty flaunted, which is kind of an oxymoron but that's what it was, really! Somehow my darker half managed to show his body off without really meaning to, and without the aftertaste of whore.

Then I noticed something. Kaiba-kun was not there next to him being flaunty and stuff alongside his newfound lover. He wasn't present, not lying next to Yami, not bare-chested and propped up, not anywhere in the room at all. I looked around for a moment to make sure I hadn't made a mistake, but I right the first time.

"Oh, Seto?" Yami had read my mind. I blinked, kind of embarrassed that my thoughts had been so obvious like an easy reader book. "He went home a while ago…"

I blinked again, frowning a little.

Yami just chuckled. Was he being psychic for the second time today? My eyes widened a little.

"Aibou…don't worry. It's not what you think." He smiled that smile… Not_ the _smile, but the deformed, broken down version of it. I raised my eyebrows confusedly. The noises from last night…

"But then, why…" My voice trailed off and I focused my attention on Yami a little lower than the shoulders…

"Oh." Yami shook his head. "Aibou, where do you get such ideas?" He suddenly pulled the sheets off of him, grabbed his button-down shirt that had been hanging on the headboard and pulled it on quickly. He walked over to me, looking me in the eyes, and his expression suddenly drastically changed from warm to serious. "Hikari, Seto and I didn't do it… Got that?" He brought his hand to my face and brushed his fingers across my cheek reassuringly, comfortingly. They were warm and soft, and sympathizing, even… I stared blankly back at him, not sure what to reply back with.

Finally, after a period of awkward silence, I murmured, "Oh…" I found myself staring at the floor, feeling stupid that the thought of sex had ever crossed my mind last night. How dumb could I get? Kaiba-kun and Yami had been together for, what, four months, now? Yami just wasn't that kind of person… Sex after four months… No. My darker side would never do something like that. How could I have ever believed myself? I guess I just hadn't been thinking… With all those memories racing through my head last night, it was hard to keep anything straight.

"But…the noises…" I felt so dumb. I continued staring at the floor.

"Noises…oh…" Yami was silent for a moment. Curious, I looked up and saw that his cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. I was a little surprised. The other me didn't really show this side of him often. I cocked my head at him and nodded for him to continue.

"We were rather…" He trailed off again, turning away suddenly. Was he lying to me? This wasn't like him, either…

"Nn?" I repeated my nod.

"I just… Aibou…" He turned back, looking me straight in the eye. And…suddenly, for a split second, I could've sworn there was something there in his violet eyes that I had never seen before… Had it been fear? I was silent with a bit of confusion. It was only there for a split second, as though the blink of his eyes had wiped it away from existence. A hallucination? It couldn't have been. There had been something in his eyes that made me know my dark side was telling the truth. It was just one of those things that you couldn't explain but you just _knew._ You just _did_.

A fear of mistrust… _My _mistrust… I doubted someone who was part of my heart and my soul, who was half of who I was. Similar to minutes ago, I returned to staring at the floor sheepishly. I wanted to crawl into a hole and curl up into a little ball.

_My heart and my soul_ …

If Yami said he didn't do it, then he didn't do it. I trusted his word. Though I really wanted to know what they had really been up to, I didn't ask for fear of making things more complicated than they already were.

But why did I care so much? Whether or not something dirty had been going on last night and if Kaiba-kun was still here this morning… I felt so confused inside. There were so many questions going through my mind and so many mixed emotions. They were being tossed at me left and right as though I was some kind of washing machine tumbling clothes around in the pit of my stomach.

I smiled reassuringly at Yami and said, "I believe you." I hugged him for a few seconds and then took a glance at my watch. "Whoa, I'm gonna be late for school! Gotta run!" With a wave, I headed out the door. "Itte kimasu!"

"Itte irasshai," I heard the other me say.

School was a drag.

"Now don't forget, your projects are due on the twenty-first! I want to see a full ten pages from all of you by Monday. Class dismissed!"

I got up wearily from my chair and grabbed my books weakly. I was absolutely bushed because of my no-sleep-till-Kami-sama-knows-when episode last night. Every time a teacher began their lecture I felt my head droop more and more, my eyelids slowly closing, becoming heavier and heavier. Then, a whispering voice that got louder and louder and I suddenly jolted back to life. My friends were saving my butt too many times. I could've sworn I was going to pass out in the middle of the hallway and get trampled by seniors. It's awful.

Luckily, lunch hour came. I was elated. In spirit, I mean. In reality I looked like a zombie. That's what Jonouchi-kun kept telling me, anyway. I don't think zombies and I go well together, so I guess that means I looked pretty messed up.

"Yugi, are you alright today?" Anzu asked me concernedly at lunch as I bit into my sandwich. "You don't look so well."

"Zommmbiiieee!" Jonouchi-kun immediately exclaimed with exaggerated laughter. Honda-kun joined in, the two of them turning many heads across the lunchroom.

I smiled at my friends despite a groan. "I didn't get too much sleep last night."

"You should take a nap after school," suggested Bakura-kun kindly in his polite voice. "That will make you feel much better."

Anzu nodded. "Yeah!"

"Zommmbiiie!"

"Stop it!" Anzu yelled. "You two aren't helping!" She stood up from her seat looking like she was ready to pound them.

"It's alright Anzu," I said with a blush. "They're not bothering me."

"Grraaa!–" Anzu stopped her fist. "Huh? You sure?"

"Yeah… It's fine, really." I waved my hand.

"Okay," she said, "but only because you insist." She beamed.

As I finished up my sandwich, taking the last bite, Kaiba-kun walked into the lunchroom, his eerie presence touching upon every student. Whenever Kaiba-kun walks into a room, everything seems to get quieter. Is he really that intimidating? Though Kaiba-kun is cold and mean on the outside, on the inside he is warm, kind, and gentle. Really, though, he starves for companionship and the caring words of a friend. It's a good thing the other me has come into his life. Things seem to be looking up for him. I've tried befriending Kaiba-kun, but he just pushes me away. There's something really special inside of Yami. Somehow they've connected. I think that's kind of beautiful.

"Konnichi wa, Kaiba-kun!" I greeted my classmate friendlily. I heard people snicker behind me as though I were foolish for speaking to him, for they knew that Kaiba-kun usually merely ignored me or smirked, or gave an aggravated remark. I liked to say hi to him anyway. I won't rest my efforts of being nice to him, no matter what anyone says. Because even though no one believes me, Kaiba-kun truly is a good person. He just hasn't opened up to the world.

Kaiba-kun stopped walking at the sound of my words. There were hushed whispers among the tables as to what was happening. I saw a couple people glance in my direction questioningly while others waited to see what Kaiba-kun would do next, and still others who were more interested in what was in the school's ranch dressing than what the infamous Kaiba Seto was up to.

"Yugi." His voice was blunt and clear, almost cold, as though he shuddered to speak of my name. That was weird. Did he want me to come and talk to him?

I gulped and looked around at what everyone was doing. No one seemed to be interested anymore. Most of them had gone back to pondering the salad dressing. I guess they figured Kaiba-kun was just going to tell me off like he usually did, so it'd be boring to pay attention anymore.

"I'll be right back," I said to my friends, and hopped out of my seat, over to Kaiba-kun. Somehow I had a bad feeling about this.

"Come here," he said quietly once I was close to him. He grabbed my sleeve and pulled me out of the lunchroom without hesitation or care. I was startled. My eyes widened in disbelief.

'_What's he going to do to me!_', I wondered to myself worriedly. "Kaiba-kun…" But the taller boy only sighed at me. He kept dragging me along like I was some kind of stuffed animal. I was a little scared. What was he doing? Was it something urgent? Whatever it was, I hoped it wouldn't be drastic…

We exited the lunchroom and my blue-eyed classmate dragged me along still. We kept on going on down the hallway, Kaiba-kun frighteningly silent. It made me nervous and even quieter than him, I think. After what had seemed like an eternity (which probably had been less than a minute), we reached our destination.

I found myself in front of the boys' bathroom. We entered without a word. Once we were in, Kaiba-kun looked around to make sure no one was around, and after hat was clarified…it happened. Kaiba-kun grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall. He pushed on them so tightly it hurt. Our faces were so close together we could almost touch noses. Now I was terrified. My heart began to race, my eyes wide with fear, my head spinning in confusion. What was going on! What did I do! I tried to break free, but then Kaiba-kun pushed my arms tightly against the wall, tighter than he had done with my shoulders. There was no escape. I was locked in. A single tear slid down my face.

"Kaiba-kun, stop it! STOP!" I begged him with every ounce of strength I had in me.

"Can you settle down for one damn second?" he breathed calmly yet angrily. "I want to talk to you."

"If you want to talk then why are you holding me up against a wall!" I questioned, diamond drops glistening down my cheek one by one, now. I wanted to wipe my sopping face but Kaiba-kun still had control over my arms. I tried to pull away again, but he was too strong, his grip too tight. He smirked at me.

"_You _stop. You're not going to get away. Just _listen _to me!" Kaiba-kun raised his voice slightly. I nodded, fearful that if I objected it would only get worse. "What didhe tell you?"

"Who? You mean Yami? About what?"

"You know what the hell I'm talking about, Yugi. Spit it out!" Out of rage he dug his fingernails into my arm.

"He told me nothing happened," I spoke in a small voice, wincing. "Ow! You're hurting me!"

Kaiba's grip loosened. He let go of me, stood there for a few moments, sighed, and then walked out of the bathroom without a word.

'_What's going on?…_ _Kaiba-kun seemed so tense, but after I told him what Yami said to me he went back to normal… Wait. No… No, it just can't be…'_

"Kaiba-kun and Yami…they…" My eyes began to well up with tears. It was one thing that they had had sex, but the lie was what bothered me most. Yami had _lied _to me about something that was a big deal. Why did he do it? Why oh why?… "Y-Yami…" A few tears streamed down my face. Leaning up against the wall, I buried my face in my hands and hopelessly whimpered . _'After all this time of being such close friends and doing anything for each other, he goes and lies to me? Lies to me about something like this? This just isn't like him! It's not how he used to be! I want the old Yami back! With that smile! I want Yami! Yami!' _I wanted to erase this new memory. I wished I had never followed Kaiba. I wanted to take back my hello. I wanted to turn back time and make it so this whole thing _never happened. _There had to be some way. There just _had _to be!

…But there wasn't. I filled myself with false hope until I overflowed with a river of lies. '_Face it, Yugi,' _I thought to myself._ ' There's nothing you can do and you can't change it. You can't do anything about it. It's done with.' _I cried harder, tears dripping down onto the wall. I pounded my fist into it, only resulting in pained knuckles, but I didn't care. I was in disbelief. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be.

"Yami," I muttered to myself, "Yami…Yami, Yami! Yami!" I repeated my other self's name endlessly until I stained the walls with my salty tears, my cries echoing in the bathroom so loudly I wondered how no one could hear me. But that was good. I didn't want anyone to hear me. I wanted to be left alone… I wanted to cry by myself and say his name until my throat bled. I wanted him to feel my pain, my anger.

Who was I to believe?

But then… I thought again.

My darker side. Kaiba Seto. Had sex. Last night. Yami and Kaiba-kun. Boyfriends. Neither of them my lover. Why did I care? _Why?_ Why did it matter so much to me whether or not they kissed or held each other? It had never bothered me _before._ '_I don't…I can't…I know I don't…'_

I had said yes, I love you Yami. But not that way.'

'_I'm such an idiot! I said no!And I was truthful! But couldn't I have made that little white lie?I had beentruthful that night!Truthful!'_

...Hadn't I?...

'_If I had said that little white lie,he'd still be my Yami! The Yami that dissappeared!... I miss him... I miss him so much...'_

But I was so confused. So utterly and completely confused. I didn't want to deal with my problems anymore. I wanted to wipe them all away and be happy. I wanted to laugh, not cry. I wanted to live in the moment and stop dwelling on the past. But I couldn't. I couldn't do those things. Because I was messed up, now. Messed up so bad.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. Chapter three will be up soon. : )

**Key**

Itte kimasu- What you say when you leave the house for school, work, etc. Kind of like saying, "I'll be back." Hehe.

Itte irasshai- The response to itte kimasu. "Be back soon!"

Kaiba Seto- In Japan last names are stated first. It's not Seto Kaiba. It's Kaiba Seto.


	3. It's Raining on the Inside

A/N: Thank you again to all of my reviewers! Here's chapter three!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuugiou or any of its characters. That is only a pathetic dream of mine. Or something.

**Chapter Three: It's Raining on the Inside**

Yami… I wanted to believe what he had said, but how could I be so sure? I _couldn't_. That was just it. And it was just so stupid. I wanted to hear his voice tell me that it would be alright, that everything would turn out just fine…like he always told me. But this time I couldn't do that. Because I was crying about _him_. I was lost without him, but he caused my confusion… If only I hadn't gone with Kaiba-kun. If only I hadn't gone to school that day. If only I hadn't let Kaiba-kun in the house last night. If only I had lied the white lie… It all goes back to that. It always does.

I know I shouldn't dwell on the past so much, but how can I do that when it is the basis of all my problems? How can I forget about something like this? It's just too hard… It's one of those things that no matter how hard you try to forget, or how long you place it out of your mind, there will always be a scar somewhere inside of you where the gash was first sliced into your heart… It can never be erased.

I checked my watch. Lunch hour was almost over… "If I can't pick myself up before next hour…" I sighed to myself. I didn't want anyone to see me like this, but I couldn't just go home… And I needed to get back to the lunchroom. My friends were probably getting worried by now. If I went back now, though, they'd be even more worried and ask what was wrong… '_But I don't want to tell them. I don't want them to have to deal with my foolish problems… They shouldn't have to get involved… Though, it'd be nice to have someone to talk to…'_

"Yugi? Yugiii!" I heard a faint voice call. It got louder and louder, and quickly, I figured whom it was. My first friend had come for me. He had come to look for me. I half smiled to myself. I was happy my friends cared so much about me. I knew it wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to just let him pass by, so I quickly wiped a few stray tears and poked my head out of the bathroom gingerly.

"I'm over here, Jonouchi-kun," I called to my friend in an almost whisper.

"Oh!" Jonouchi-kun darted his eyes around for a moment, spotted my untraditional hairstyle, and dashed over to the bathroom. "Yugi, what's goin' on?… Where'd Kaiba-kun go?"

"He's gone…" I avoided Jonouchi-kun's eyes in fear that he may notice my own eyes' redness.

"Oh… What did he want with you, anyway?"

"He um…" I groped for an excuse. "He um…he was um…"

Jonouchi-kun's eyes got big. "Yugi! He didn't!"

I flinched. "Whaa-no!" I shook my arms. "He just told me that he," I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "he wasn't going to be able to come over for dinner tonight! He has a, a business meeting!" I couldn't tell him the real truth.

Jonouchi-kun raised an eyebrow at me.

'_Oh no! He's suspicious!'_

"No need to get so worked up, Yugi," the blonde said with a laugh, and patted me on the back. "Actin' like I'm the police or something." He smiled at me jokingly.

'_Or not.'_

"Well, let's go. Class is gonna start," Jonouchi-kun said. "You know what fourth period on Friday means…"

"Aww," I whined.

"Yeah, I know," Jonouchi-kun agreed, "but we gotta hurry back to class. C'mon."

"Ookaaay," I moaned.

I groaned quietly to myself. I wasn't good at algebra. This quarter was going alright for me so far (I managed to bring my grade up to a high C), but I was dreading our preparations for the upcoming test next week. This chapter had made no sense to me… I hated dealing with it, but I knew that in order to pass, I had to work hard. Which meant it was pretty necessary to go to class this week to prepare… _'Now I really can't just go home,' _I thought. _'But then again…'_

"Actually…you go on ahead, Jonouchi-kun."

"Huh? You sure?"

"Yeah…"

"If you say so…" My friend patted me on the back and with a wink, left the bathroom.

As soon as Jonouchi-kun left, I burst out into a spasm of flowing tears. I cried and whimpered to myself, "Oh, m-mou hitori no boku… Why has it come to this?" I felt so pathetic crying in a bathroom and at _school_ no less. But the tears poured out of me as though every droplet that dribbled down my cheek made everything a little bit better, cleansed me a little more. It felt good. So I cried. And I cried.

I blew my nose a couple of times with toilet paper, cried more, and was surprised that the bathroom wasn't doused with my salty sadness. My eyes were soon bloodshot and puffy, my nose stuffed up, my face wet with rivulets of tears. I finally let out a long sigh.

I checked my watch. Ten minutes into fourth period. I found myself shouting abruptly. "I'm going _home!_" Narrowing my eyes angrily and wiping the last bit of my tears, I stormed out of the bathroom.

Class was in session. The halls were empty. Not a teacher or staff member in sight. I could hear the echoing sounds of my footsteps as I walked briskly to the doors of the school, glancing around every now and then. Absentmindedly, I didn't even bother to go into the office to tell them I was leaving. But to tell you the truth, if I had noticed at first, I wouldn't have even cared. I wanted to get home right away. I wanted to leave the school and forget about Kaiba-kun's icy words. I wanted to yell at my dark side right in his face. _Home, home._

Exasperated and emotionally drained, I forcefully yet weakly shoved the school doors open and hurried out, the scene of the bathroom still replaying in my mind like a catchy tune stuck in my head. Only it wasn't catchy or a tune. It was an eerie _noise._ Had I been right the whole time? Yami really had lied to me? I couldn't believe it!

Outside spring had sprung, the sakura trees beginning to bloom, the sun illuminating the city with its sweet, citrus rays. The grass was getting greener and the sky was getting bluer. The clouds were white, not gray, and a gentle breeze calmed the town. But I was immune to all of it, all of its charms and wonder and awe that I normally treasured. I didn't see it. I was colorblind with disappointment, regret, anger. Right now I couldn't find the beauty in spring. I hastily moved along the sidewalk to home, barely acknowledging the chirping birds that flew overhead.

I ran up to the game shop, slammed open the front door, my eyes flashing here to there. There was no one in sight. "Yami!" I shouted. "Yami where are you!"

My almost-reflection rushed to the scene. I could see his eyes were confused. He knew I wasn't supposed to be home yet…and I was _yelling _at him.

"Ai-Aibou?" the ex pharaoh perplexedly said. "What are you doing home so early? Is anything wrong?"

"_Wrong?"_ I said, rolling my eyes. "Something's _wrong,_ alright! You lied to me!" I pointed at him.

"Lied to you? Hikari, I thought I told you that-"

"-That was a _lie_, mou hitori no boku! A _lie_!"

"What are you talking about? Aibou, listen-"

"-NO!" I lashed out. "_YOU_ LISTEN!" I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. I panted, a single tear dropping down onto the ground. "You said that you and Kaiba-kun did _not _have sex! So I believed you! Because we're _friends, _and that's what friends do! So I come to find out that you _lied _to me!" I paused. Yami said nothing. "FRIENDS! They TRUST each other! And if you don't have trust, you don't have anything! I TRUSTED you! I trusted you, and I was _wrong_! It was because of YOU, YAMI!_ YOU!"_

By now fresh tears had budded and were rapidly streaming down my face. I brushed them away, but it didn't help. They just kept coming along, like an endless shower. My eyes were so swollen it was hard to keep them open, my nose was running, and my mouth was salty and dry. I felt as though I were going to collapse.

"What in Ra's name are you talking about, Yugi?" Yami said.

I looked up. Yami walked closer to me and tried to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him away.

"You LIED! Didn't you hear me at ALL?"

Yami shook his head. "Yugi, I didn't lie to you!"

"Now you're lying again! Stop it! You don't have to hide it anymore, Yami! You did what you did and you can't ever take it back, so stop denying it!"

"I _didn't,_" the other me insisted. "Why do you think I lied to you?" My dark side's voice remained calm.

"Kaiba-kun told me!" I sneered.

"What?"

"Kaiba-kun!" I sniffled. "He told me loud and clear, so stop lying!" There was an awkward silence before I continued. "You know Yami, you were always the one helping me out in situations, but this time, you _are_ the situation! I never thought this would happen, but I guess I was wrong about that, too!" I panted more, my heart racing faster than it ever had before. I looked Yami right in the eyes.

"Why does it even matter to you anyway, Hikari?" my alter ego suddenly said, changing the subject, his voice still deep and calm. "You can't be…_jealous…_because you don't love me that way…so why does it matter what Seto and I do privately? It needn't be of your concern, Yugi…"

I looked away. There was that question again: 'Why does it even matter?'

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled.

"Then…why are you so mad?" The other me dwindled his fingers, staring at the door in back of me.

I couldn't answer.

A/N: Oh dearrrr.

**Key**

Mou hitori no boku- "The other me". I'm not sure if you capitalize this, but I don't think you do. Correct me if I'm wrong. : )


	4. Hitotsu Dake

A/N: I don't know why, but for some reason I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I'm kind of glad chapter four is over with. Chapter five will be so much more fun. Hehe. Anyway, not much else to say. Except big hugs to everyone who is reading and/or reviewing! I'm having a fun time writing this (except chapter four!), so I'm glad you're having fun reading it. Makes me happy.

Oh. Also, sorry this chapter has taken so long to get up. Like I said, I was having a hard time with it. Schoolwork also takes up a lot of my time, so…yeah. Sorry for the inconvenience. I'm doing my best.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou or any of the characters. It's just a severe case of fandom. ; )

**Chapter Four: Hitotsu Dake**

I didn't know what to say.

My dark side continued staring at the door in back of me rather uncomfortably.

"I…I don't know!" I yelled. I paused for a few moments and heavy tears began welling up in my eyes. I sniffled a little, standing there insecurely. "I guess I just…I just care about you, Yami! Nothing like this has ever happened before, and I just don't know what to think anymore!" My emotions became an intoxicating mixture of sadness and angriness, tangled together tightly in a knot. I let the tears fall down without care, not even trying to hold them back anymore. I couldn't stop myself this time. It was all coming out…

"What do you mean?" my other half asked. I let him seize me into a hug this time. He embraced me softly, rocking us back and forth on our feet gently. I felt a strong wave of serenity come over me as this took place and closed my eyes without worry or fear.

"I-I mean," my voice was muffled, my face buried in my reflection's chest, "I mean…I…" I sniffled uncontrollably now, despite my sudden serene disposition.

I had always had him to myself, no one in the way. It was just the two of us together, smiling and laughing, getting through rough times. We were _one_. I had always known that. I had always known that we were special to each other. More special than friends who had known each other since the toddler days. This was different. Yami was I and I was Yami, and it had always been that way. There hadn't ever been anyone else… Sure, he had other friends. Anzu, Bakura-kun…and everyone else…

'_But…that's different. Different from what Kaiba-kun and him have become together. Now it's not just us anymore… I don't feel like we're one… I don't feel like a whole… There's a hole. It feels like he's being taken away from me… Little white lie, little white lie… I need you now… I want to go back in time…please…please… I want things to be how they were before. I want the Yami I know back. And I want us to be whole again…'_

"LIAR!"

"Wh-"

I pushed Yami away, escaping from his grip and ran. I ran, not looking back at his face. I wondered if he was dumbfounded or if he knew what I was talking about. I wondered what his expression was. I wondered, but I didn't care. I ran through the house until I reached my room, where I then opened it, went in, and shut it tightly, making sure to lock it.

I sobbed and screamed into my pillow, pounding it with my fists.

"I'm not even fooling _myself! _I-"

"Yugi, please don't be this way with me…" Yami's voice from the other side of the door came.

"No! Go away, Yami! I don't want to talk to you right now!"

"But…Yugi…_Aibou…_I just want to help you."

"How can you help me when you were the one who caused all of this in the first place!"

I heard Yami sigh. "Yugi…I don't know why you think I'm lying, and I know you don't believe me, but Seto and I did not have sex. I mean it. I love Seto, I really do. But…I could never have sex with him."

I looked up from the pillow and blinked through tears. "N-nani?… What do you mean?"

"I just _can't." _

I heard his body slide slowly down against the door.

"Oh." I sat up on my bed, staring at my feet. What was he talking about?

"The only person I'll ever want to share that much love with is out of my reach… Only _you, _Hikari…"

I heard my darker side sigh sadly and continue. "I just can't imagine myself expressing my love that way to anyone except you…but…you come first before myself, dear Aibou, and if that means I will never be your lover or share that act of passion together…then, that is just the way it will be. Life goes on, Yugi… This I know. But I will never, ever be able…to go through an act of such binding love with anyone. Just you. Only you."

"Yami I-"

"It's alright, Yugi… Don't apologize… You didn't know." His words were solemn and mournful.

"No, really, mou hitori no boku. I'm sorry. I really am. Please forgive me."

"Alright. Apology accepted, Aibou."

He…he didn't want to…do it with anyone except me?

I suddenly felt as though I had been punched in the chest. A sense of embarrassment fell over me. Partly because my actions had been so foolish, and partly because I…_I…_was the only person Yami ever wanted to…to…(I blushed, turning a light shade of pink).

And I had been yelling and screaming at my darker side all this time and it had turned out that he had been telling the truth all along. I was so stupid!

"Are you sure about that?" I got up from my bed slowly and tiptoed over to my door, putting my ear against it.

Another sigh from my other half. "Yes. I don't think I'll ever be able to completely move on from, well, you know…being rejected… I don't think there is a single person in this world that is like you, Yugi. If I traveled to the ends of the earth, the road would lead me right back to you. And even though we're not in a relationship, I feel like I'd be betraying you if I were to make love with another. And so you see, I just can't do it, Yugi. I cannot. I won't participate in the act of passion. Not unless it is with you."

I opened the door a little. A teardrop of mine fell onto Yami's forehead as I wept, standing there childishly, hanging onto the doorknob.

"Really?" I asked smally.

"Really." Yami brushed off the tear, looked up at me, and wiped my face.

"Why-why didn't you just say that before when I started fighting with you?" I said, shedding another warm drop.

"I just didn't want to have to resort to saying it… I didn't want to make you feel hurt or as though you did something wrong." The pharaoh lowered his head.

Still, I felt embarrassed about the whole thing. Though he had forgiven me, I had acted like a little kid. And this whole "only you" thing was making me feel both embarrassed and special at the same time. Embarrassed because…wow, I knew Yami felt strong about me, but what he had said to me was deep. He had poured some of his deepest guts out just to help me understand the truth.

As for special… Like my darker side had said, I was the only one.

'_Only one? How could that be?'_ I didn't completely understand, but it made me feel loved and needed. Like I was superior to all of his other friends or something. I don't know.

The question came back of whether or not Yami still had the feelings for me that he had had months ago, and boy, was I afraid to question it, even just in my mind. Yami had mentioned about not being able to completely move on. I knew exactly how he felt. But did that imply that his feelings had deceased? At least, his more-than-just-friends feelings for me? I wanted to know, but it wasn't like I could just ask him, so I remained quiet about those thoughts.

"May I ask _you _a question, Yugi?" He patted the space next to him, gesturing for me to sit there.

I opened the door just enough so that I could get through and took the seat next to my dark side, shoulder-to-shoulder.

"Um…sure," I answered.

"If you don't mind me asking…what exactly did Seto tell you? You mentioned something about him tipping you off?"

"Oh. That." I clicked my feet back and forth nervously. "He said something like, 'Whatever Yami told you, it's not true' ". "I…I guessed that he meant about…you know." I felt my ears and face get hot, so I turned the other way.

Yami raised an eyebrow curiously. "What?" He shook his head. "That's ridiculous. Why would he say something like that? I'll talk to him about it when I go over to the Kaiba house tonight…" The other me frowned and tapped my knee a couple times before looking over at the clock on the wall. "Oh, yes, well, I was just about to make myself some lunch before you came. How about it?"

I giggled and turned back towards mou hitori no boku. Even though I had already eaten lunch, I replied happily, "Sounds good." I wanted to stay with Yami.

Yami made us a nice lunch of instant ramen. It was chicken flavored! I tried to forget about my feeling of incompleteness because of Kaiba-kun, and how Yami wasn't the same. I didn't want to mention these things to Yami during our talk, kind of like the thing about if he still likes me or not. It just wasn't the time to bring them up…

'_Soon, I hope, I'll be able to, because eventually these things will eat away at me…'_

"Good-bye Yugi. See you later," Yami said with a wave later that night as he headed out the door to go to Kaiba-kun's house.

I started to wave back, but then said, "Hey… Maybe I should come with you, Yami. To sort out all of this."

"Maybe you're right," Yami agreed, rubbing his chin in thought. "You actually witnessed what Seto said… It would be useful to have you with me." He held his hand out to me. "Come along."

I pulled on my shoes and grabbed his hand trustingly, shutting the door and locking it.

It seemed like we got to Kaiba-kun's too soon. That was probably just because I was scared of what might happen. Because I began to have second thoughts about coming with my darker side. I was thinking that I should've just stayed out of the whole thing and let just the two of them handle the situation. But then, I knew that I was needed for the confrontation, since Kaiba-kun said those words in the bathroom to _me_. But still… I wished it hadn't happened. All of it was a complete mess and I wanted to go back home. I never should've mentioned the idea to come with mou hitori no boku…

I cringed when Yami rang the doorbell, quivering behind him in fear.

"Hikari, what has gotten into you?" my other inquired, but I was sure that he knew exactly why I was afraid.

The door opened shortly, and I was relieved to see the face of Kaiba Mokuba, Kaiba-kun's younger brother.

"Konban wa," Yami and I said in unison (though you could barely hear me).

"Konban wa, but…" he said, blinking. After a few seconds, he beamed at us. "Ooooohhh yeaaah! Onii-sama told me that you were coming. I forgot! Come on in! He's in his room." The black-haired boy gestured for us to come in.

Sheepishly I stepped slowly into the mansion with Yami. Immediately we walked off to Kaiba-kun's room, with mou hitori no boku leading the way, of course. The way that I wished I didn't have to walk. We climbed the stairs that I wished and didn't have to step on. And finally, we reached Kaiba's door, a door that I didn't want to knock on (Yami knocked, but…you know what I mean).

At the knocking a voice answered, "What is it?" I knew that growling, annoyed voice all too well.

"It's me," answered Yami bluntly.

"Oh," Kaiba-kun said. "Come in, then."

Yami opened the door with me still hiding behind him like a scared little puppy. The two of us walked in.

Kaiba-kun was sitting at his desk, an expensive-looking laptop on top of it. His eyes were glued to the screen, darting back and forth, the only sound the tapping of fingers on a keyboard. He looked up at us and raised an eyebrow at Yami.

"What's _he _doing here?"

I tried to scrunch up and make myself less noticeable.

"Well," Yami said, "I thought we might discuss what you said to Yugi during lunch today."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to 'discuss'."

"Oh, but I think there is." Yami narrowed his eyes. "About what you said to Aibou during lunchtime."

A/N: I hate it in Yuugiou fanfics when people make Mokuba immature and stupid. Also I see a lot of Mokuba being into porn? What's up with that? Anyway, thanks for reading. Next chapter will be up next week. I'm not really impressed with this chapter…so if you're not either, I understand. Don't worry. I have exciting plans for chapter five! Stay tuned!

**Key**

Nani- "What?"

Hitotsu dake- Along the lines of meaning "only one". For some reason I have so much fun naming chapters. xD.

Onii- Older brother. I forget whether Mokuba calls Seto "onii-chan" or "onii-sama". But I think it's "onii-sama". Once again, correct me if I'm wrong.

Konban wa- Good evening.


	5. Follow Your Heart

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and/or reviewed! I think saying thanks every chapter might be getting repetitive to you guys, but I want to make sure I show my appreciation to everyone who is enjoying this. : ) And thank you for the criticism, Darkyami. It's much appreciated.

Oh! I found out that Mokuba calls Seto "Nii-sama", not "Onii-sama." Well, I was close.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou and I don't own the characters. Takahashi Kazuki does. I think we're all a little jealous of that.

**Chapter Five: "Follow Your Heart."**

I knew both Yami and I could tell that following his question would be an awkward silence. And so it happened that way. The _tap, tap, tap _of fingertips on Kaiba-kun's keyboard silenced, his body as still as untouched water and rigid as a plank, his eyes staring at the door in front of him instead of them meeting Yami's. It was hard to tell, though, what exactly his body language was conveying to us. I couldn't tell if he was nervous at my darker side's question or if he was at a loss for words.

It wasn't often that arrogant Kaiba-kun got nervous (at least as far as I knew), but then again, there was a first time for everything. I glanced at Yami's face for a moment, looking for a little insight into what _he_ thought about all of this, but I only saw glaring eyes focusing on his blue-eyed lover.

"_That_," Kaiba-kun finally said, looking Yami in the eyes now, "is why you brought Yugi with you?"

Each word Kaiba-kun spoke was more painful to listen to. One by one, as they were uttered out slowly in his deep, eerie voice, I wanted to flinch, as though I was hearing nails on a chalkboard, because I didn't want this to end badly or anyone to get into a fight. Now that mou hitori no boku and I had just ended our fight, to get into another one so quickly would make me feel as though I was trapped in a never-ending nightmare.

"What are you saying, Seto?" Yami spat. "Is this matter not of significance to you?"

Kaiba-kun sighed and closed his laptop. He got up from his chair abruptly and walked over to Yami quietly. Inside of my mind, each step sounded like one a giant would take. _Thump, thump._

Kaiba-kun's face got very close to mou hitori no boku's like when he had cornered me in the bathroom. Their faces almost touched. I was surprised that Yami was still. Their expressions were very similar at that time. It almost looked like one of them was mocking the other.

Mou hitori no boku sighed and looked over at me, motioning for me to come over.

"Go ahead, Yugi," he said with a nod. "Tell me again what Seto said to you at lunch."

I nodded. "He said…that whatever you told me was a lie."

Yami almost immediately jerked his head back at Kaiba-kun, with a what-do-you-say-to-that? kind of expression on his face.

"Yeah, I said it," my classmate replied quietly but in an annoyed way.

My darker side nodded. "Here's my second question: why?"

I silently watched them, only talking when being spoken to.

Kaiba-kun shot a glance at me and then whispered something in Yami's ear. I wondered what he was saying to him. Why didn't he just say it out loud? Was it that bad? Then again, maybe I didn't want to know.

After the dark-haired duelist finished whispering who knew what to Yami, Yami just nodded. But then he said quietly, "But why did you have to tell Yugi? He has nothing to do with this."

"I-"

Kaiba-kun stopped talking and looked at me. "There was really no point in bringing him, you know," he said.

Was that a tone of embarrassment I heard?…

Yami groaned. "Yugi needs to be here. I told you before."

Kaiba-kun groaned louder.

I could've sworn the other me almost smiled at this. I was half glad that I didn't have to experience that 'not-my-Yami' smile, but half sad that he didn't smile at all. I frowned and then my taller reflection-like half grabbed my hand firmly yet gently, opened Kaiba-kun's door, and pointed at the hallway.

"Wait out here for a moment, Yugi. This won't take long."

"Well…alright…" But I didn't want to leave! I wanted to know what was going to happen! I wanted to know why Kaiba-kun lied to me and what was going on! Was I the only one who was completely clueless? Reluctantly but obediently I walked out of the elder Kaiba's room and stepped into the hallway.

I stood leaning against the wall. I was angry at Kaiba-kun. Why did he have to go and lie to me? He had deceived me, making me believe that Yami had been the liar, causing us to get into a fight. Whatever it was that he was concerned about, I was sure it could have been solved, not spread to others. He had Yami to confide in. That's what friends (in this case, boyfriends) were for, right?

Then again, I didn't know the whole story. Still, though…

"Yugi?"

"Hmmwhaa?" I blurted out, startled, jumping a little. I looked to my left from where the source of the voice had come from and found cute, black-haired Mokuba-kun smiling at me innocently.

"Oh, it's just you, Mokuba-kun," I said, the feeling of being surprised going down a few notches.

"Sorry for scaring you," the boy apologized, blinking a couple of times.

"Oh, I wasn't scared! Eheheh…" I scratched the back of my head.

"Riiight," Mokuba-kun said, but quickly changed the subject to something more of his interest. "Anyway, I'm a little bored. Want to come and play a game with me?"

"Well…" I glanced at Kaiba-kun's door.

Before I could answer, Mokuba seized my hand. "Good!" he said happily, dragging me off down the hallway.

"Uh!…" Yami would wonder where I had went off to. "Demo-"

"This will be fun!"

We ran quickly all through the Kaiba mansion. I thought it was amazing that Mokuba-kun knew his way around so well, even if he did live there. The place was huge! A good game of hide-and-seek could have been played well in the mansion.

"Almost there!" Mokuba-kun exclaimed with a laugh.

We ran through an extravagant, beautifully carved archway that led to what I think was the living room. It was just…so big! An expensive leather couch, a nice coffee table that matched the archway, and one of those large rugs beneath it. The lighting was dim, which made for a soothing atmosphere and there was a gigantic flat screen TV! It was great.

"Wow," was all I could say.

Mokuba grinned.

Finally, Kaiba-kun's little brother let go of my hand and headed right for the TV. He plopped down in front of it and began looking around for something.

"Do you need help?" I asked, walking over to the TV and taking a seat next to Mokuba-kun.

"That's okay, I think I can- found it!" Mokuba-kun held up a shiny CD. "This is one of Nii-sama's new games! It's just a prototype, but I think it's pretty good! Anyway, I'm not supposed to tell anyone about it yet, but I think I can trust you." He held a finger to his lips as to say, "Sshhh."

"A-are you sure?" I asked, a little concerned.

"Yeah, don't worry about a thing!" Mokuba insisted, and he inserted the CD into a sort of gaming system that I didn't recognize and took out two controllers that I was unfamiliar with, too, handing one to me.

"Alright…" The controller was oddly shaped with strange buttons. I wasn't exactly sure how to work it, but I figured it couldn't be too hard.

The opening credits for the game appeared on the screen. The graphics were amazing! I couldn't believe my eyes. Such detail.

"You know," Mokuba-kun said as he selected the "New Game" option, "things have been a lot different ever since my brother started dating the other you." The boy selected the two players option.

"Really?" I watched as the characters came to life.

"Yeah. I thought that Nii-sama didn't have time for me _before_, but now…" He sighed and stopped talking as his character spoke in the game. After it stopped, he continued, "…Now it's even _worse._ I'm lucky if I get to be with him once a week."

I frowned and patted Mokuba-kun's shoulder sympathetically. "Gomen, Mokuba-kun." I frowned sadly. I knew that if the ones who I was close with didn't have time for me anymore, I'd be devastated.

"It's alright… I know that he's important to Nii-sama, so," he paused and pressed a couple buttons, "you know…"

"But-" I pressed a button as well. Nothing happened and I pressed another. It seemed to work. "But, that isn't fair to you. You're important to your brother, too. You have to remember that. You guys have been through everything together."

Mokuba pressed the pause button and turned, facing me. I did the same.

"Maybe you're right… It isn't fair, is it?" Mokuba-kun inquired.

"Exactly," I said.

"Demo…" The young boy's voice faded.

I urged him to continue. "Demo?…"

"Demo…I don't want him to get mad at me…"

"Yeah, but-"

"I know," Mokuba-kun said. "I need to stand up for myself and tell him how it is. But…you know, even though he gets mad at me easily and he seems angry a lot, Nii-sama isn't as bad of a person as people make him out to be. They just don't know him like I do." The younger Kaiba looked down sadly. "Nii-sama is protective, loyal, and smart. He's the greatest brother in the whole world. He really isn't coldhearted and mean… I mean, he _can _be, but deep down, he's just like you and me. Deep down, he's a loving, caring person. Our lives have just been so tough, he's changed. He's changed so much. I wish I could change him back, but I just have to live with this Nii-sama. I mean, I still love him… He's just different. And I've gotten used to it. Besides…I know that there's still some of that old Nii-sama in there…but…I'm getting off subject…"

My eyes widened. _'Like Yami… I wonder…if it always ends up like this? After someone changes, they don't come back?' _My hands began to shake uncontrollably.

"Are you alright, Yugi?" Mokuba-kun asked caringly.

"I-I'm…I'm fine…" _'Or…can I change him back? Was there a way?…'_

"Yugi, you don't look too good," Mokuba said, shaking his head. "You're turning pale… Are you sure you're okay? Should I go get Nii-sama and the other you?"

"Iya. I-I'm fine, really." I tried to reassure the young boy, but he didn't seem to believe me.

"Yugi," he said, "I'll go and get you some tea, okay?"

"You don't have to," I said, my voice shaking.

"I _do_ have to! You look awful!" Mokuba-kun insisted. "Now…just stay here and play the game. I'll be back in a jiffy."

With that, Mokuba-kun ran off for the kitchen, leaving me alone.

_"He's changed so much. I wish I could change him back, but I just have to live with this Nii-sama."_

Mokuba-kun's words echoed through my mind like the way someone felt after a rock concert. Though it had ended, you could still feel it inside of you for a long time. Though the song wasn't playing anymore, you could still feel the vibrations of the bass inside of your chest. I swallowed and held my hands up to my face.

Shaking.

_'My Yami… Can I ever bring you back? If I were to- no!' _I blushed to myself. _'I do miss him more than anything I can think of… Though, like Mokuba-kun said, I still love him, he's just not exactly the same… But how does Mokuba-kun live with it? How does he get through the day knowing that Kaiba-kun will probably never be how he used to?' _

An elementary school kid (or was he in middle school?) having more emotional control than a high schooler? That was a little embarrassing.

Mokuba-kun came rushing into the room with a steaming cup of tea.

"Don't spill it!" I warned.

"I do this all the time!" Mokuba-kun said with a laugh. He jumped over a pillow and landed right in front of me. I blinked. There the tea was, perfectly unspilled and…not on the floor. Mokuba-kun just smiled. "Careful, it's still hot."

"Arigatou," I said to him, and gratefully took the cup. I sipped a little of it. The second it entered my mouth I felt soothed and relaxed. My eyes drooped a little lazily and I took another sip. "Mmm…"

"It seems to be working," Mokuba-kun said. "That's good!"

I nodded and took yet another sip, the warmth pouring over my tongue and down my throat.

"So why are you so jittery?" the black-haired boy asked as he sat down with me on the floor.

"O-oh," I said, "It's nothing really…"

The younger's eyes widened. "Is it some kind of secret? I promise I won't tell!"

"No," I said, setting my cup on a coaster on top of the coffee table, "it's not really a secret… It's just that when you mentioned about Kaiba-kun being different, it just…" I stopped.

"It just what?" Mokuba-kun moved a little closer to me as though I were telling him a suspenseful story.

"I don't know if I should be telling you this," I said. "I don't want to throw my problems on you."

"But maybe I can help!"

"That's true…" Mokuba-kun maybe _could_ help. After all, he had gone through the same thing that I was going through right now. Even if he was a kid, he could still help, especially since he had the experience with my problem.

"Tell meee," Mokuba-kun pleaded. "I'll keep it to myself! Really!"

After considering the factors of Mokuba-kun's advice being helpful, I said, "Well, alright…"

"Yay!"

"…When you said about Kaiba-kun changing…well…that happened to Yami recently…and I just…I'm having a hard time dealing with it. And when you mentioned it, it just triggered some bad thoughts…"

"Gomen!" Mokuba-kun said, biting one of his nails. "I didn't mean to… How did it happen?"

"It's not your fault," I said. "As for how it happened…well…it's kind of personal. I'd rather not say."

"Okay." Mokuba-kun smiled.

I was surprised. I had expected the little Kaiba to try and get some answers out of me as he had did about being "jittery", but alas, he had not done so. Surprised at _myself _now, I smiled back. I guess that Mokuba-kun understood about it. Not wanting to talk about something that has hurt you so deeply. It made perfect sense. I was just glad that Mokuba-kun understood.

"Well, for me," Mokuba continued after a minute or so, "I don't think I'll be able to ever change Nii-sama back to the way he was when we were littler. It's just too hard, now. Things are so complicated. But…Yugi, I think you might be able to change Yami back to the way he was."

"How?" I said, listening intently.

"You're going to have to figure it out for yourself," was his reply.

_'What?' _"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The solution is probably different for each person. Nii-sama isn't Yami, and vise versa. There can't be a definite solution to the problem since everyone is different."

Then Mokuba-kun said something I had heard before, but was wise beyond his years.

"Just follow your heart, Yugi." He pointed to his own. "Follow your heart. That's the only place the real answer can be_. Inside of you_."

_'He's right.'_

"And," Mokuba-kun continued, "right now, in a time like this, your heart is the only thing you can trust."

_'Where did he hear such words of wisdom? It doesn't make sense. Mokuba-kun is a kid… How does he know this?' _

"Yugi, where'd you go?"

Yami's voice! I put my tea on the coffee table again, forgetting to set it on the coaster.

Before running over to Yami, I turned to Mokuba-kun and said, "Remember what I said about standing up for yourself!" I winked, and then turned to see what was up with Yami and Kaiba-kun, running off to his room. Amazingly, I found the hallway that Mokuba-kun had dragged me out of. I was kind of proud of myself.

"Here I am," I said arriving at Kaiba-kun's door, which was open. Yami walked in front of me.

And then… I was scared.

He looked horribly angry. He wasn't crying, but it looked like his veins were going to pop at any minute, like he wanted to punch the guts out of someone, like he wanted to yell at the top of his lungs.

But he didn't. He just stood there, staring at me. His eyes looked scary and menacing, almost like they weren't his own. His fists were clenched tightly, his posture was irregularly straight, and his breathing was rushed and heavy.

_'Oh no… Things didn't go over so well…_' I raised my eyebrows, frightened.

"Fine, get out!" I heard my dark-haired classmate yell, and he slammed the door.

Yami was still staring at me. "Let's go, Yugi," he said darkly, and grabbed my arm tightly. I almost yelled out in pain, but I wondered if Yami would get even more angry if I did so, so I managed to stifle a yelp and bit my lip tightly instead.

We headed for the door. Yami turned the knob and kicked it open furiously, still dragging me along. I wanted to know what happened, but I was afraid that if I asked, something bad would happen.

We walked outside. It was dark out now and hard to see. Yami squinted around and finally headed north back to the game shop.

"I can't believe this," my darker side muttered as we walked. "I _can't _believe this."

I didn't dare ask. I was too scared.

"Just because I didn't want to have damn sex with him doesn't mean he has the right to act this way, Yugi!" Now he raised his voice, something I hadn't heard in a while. "It's absolutely ridiculous!"

_'Did they break up?' _My eyes grew wide.

When we got home, Yami shoved open the door and finally let go of me. It was dark. Jii-chan had probably closed the shop hours ago, but I wasn't sure what time it was. I pulled up my sleeve to check my watch. Ten. Yeah. The shop closed at nine.

I rubbed my arm in the place where Yami had seized it. It was really red.

"Ow," I whispered to myself. _'Oh well. It'll probably be gone by tomorrow.'_

My other self and I walked into the home part of the game shop. I rubbed my eyes. I needed to get some sleep for school the next day. But how could I go to sleep at a time like this? I needed to help Yami feel better. At least on Saturdays there was only a half-day of school. I didn't need too many brains tomorrow.

Yami plopped down on the couch and sighed. I gingerly walked over to him, biting my lip again.

"Y-Yami?…" I whispered in the most soothing voice I could possibly whisper in.

"What do you want, Yugi?" he said in a tired, dry, and still angry voice, which was a bit muffled. I sat down on the couch with him and saw that he was on his stomach, face buried in a pillow.

"A-are y-you okay?" I stuttered, still scared of what my darker half might do next. I daringly put my hand on his head. _'Follow my heart.'_

_'Follow my heart. Trust in my heart. Because that's the only thing I can trust for the answers right now. It's the only thing. And…the heart…never lies…'_

Gradually, a person would learn to trust their heart. Believe in it.

_'I don't think I'm there yet.'_

. Wow. : ) As usual, the next chapter will be up next week.

**Key**

Demo- But

Gomen- Sorry.

Iya- Informal "no."

"At least on Saturdays there was only a half day of school." In Japan, there's school on Saturdays. It's usually only a half-day.

Jii- Grandpa.


End file.
